Difficile est satiram non scribere.
(It is difficult not to write satire.)
--Juvenal
President Says Report on Arms Vindicates War
By DAVID E. SANGER and JAMES RISEN
Published: October 4, 2003 on www.nytimes.com
WASHINGTON, Oct. 3 - President Bush said Friday that the report by his chief weapons inspector in Iraq justified the American-led invasion of the country even though no actual weapons had been found. He said the preliminary findings of active research projects in Iraq and efforts to obtain missiles proved that "Saddam Hussein was a danger to the world."
Some Congressional Democrats, meanwhile, seized on the report as evidence that Mr. Bush had exaggerated the Iraqi threat. …But Mr. Bush and top aides, including Secretary of State Colin L. Powell, tried throughout the day to reclaim the upper hand in that debate, portraying the report, by David Kay, who leads the Iraq Survey Group of weapons inspectors, as a vindication, not a setback.
Mr. Powell said the findings had left the administration "even more convinced with the Kay report that we did the right thing."
Facing reporters on the South Lawn of the White House Friday morning, Mr. Bush sounded emphatic and at moments looked angry. His aides said later that he had been reacting to headlines emphasizing that Dr. Kay's search had so far yielded nothing to indicate that Mr. Hussein possessed the kinds of illicit weapons the administration cited as a principal reason for going to war.
After the news media had finished amusing itself by tryng to get the President to pronounce "vindicated" properly, the questions turned to the Kay report. Specifically, the press asked how the failure to find WMD could justify a war htat was fought on the basis of needing to uncover and destroy WMD stocks that were described as extensive, even massive, but they soon tired of forcing the president to say "newkewler." His aides then hustled him off to watch TV and took over the press conference.
"It was never about the possession of weapons," said one White House aide. "The question was whether Saddam had weapons programs, weapons research ongoing, whether he sought weapons. In short," the aide said, clasping one hand to his heart, "the question was: Did Saddam have Dreams of WMD? This report proves he did."
Asked if this meant that the administration's policy of pre-emptive defense now extended to attacking countries not because they posed an imminent threat, but because they hoped, one day, to pose a threat to the United States, an obviously exasperated President Bush said "You're darn tootin! Why, if we hadn't acted, Saddam might have had the capacity to attack us in another decade. Or two."
Secretary Powell agreed. "If we allow dictators to think that they might some day be allowed to begin actual research on weapons that could theoretically threaten us if coupled with non-existent delivery systems, then we're opening the door to allowing evildoers to contemplate, wonder, or even speculate on the possibility of some day intending to take action that might harm us. And we can't let that happen."
(Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product. The rest is the fakey part.)
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