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Line of the Day

March 24, 2008


James Carville, an adviser to Clinton's presidential campaign and a CNN political analyst, said this week that [New Mexico Governor Bill] Richardson's Obama endorsement "came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out for 30 pieces of silver."

Asked to comment, Jesus declined.  “I’m here today to talk about my message of peace, not to get involved in American electoral politics,” the Savior demurred when asked about the issue on “Face the Nation.”  The messiah was making the rounds of the Sunday talk shows to promote his new book “Read the Gospels, Dammit” described as a mixture of self-help, diet and business-management advice.  Subtitled “Yes, I really did mean it the first time, even the hard parts,” the sequel has shown disappointing sales, which prompted the resurrected author to make a rare appearance on broadcast TV.

Not all of the exchanges were that civil.  Tim Russert spent the entire 20-minute segment on “Meet the Press” asking Jesus if he would accept the vice-presidency if offered it by any candidate.  Visibly angry after the third repetition by Russert of  “You say your kingdom is not of this world, but I didn’t hear you say No,” the Son of God smote Russert with boils and an aging viewer base.

The Nazarene appeared more comfortable on “This Week” with George Stephanopolous, jesting with the host about the latter’s youthful thoughts of following his father into the Greek Orthodox Priesthood.  “Let me tell you, going  into the family business has its downside,” the Prince of Peace wisecracked. 

The most interesting question of the day may have been posed by Larry King, who brought the conversation around to the Carville quote again by asking if Jesus had forgiven Judas, asking if the magnitude of the latter’s sin were greater than the magnitude of Jesus’s allegedly infinite compassion.  “Without giving anything away,” Jesus replied with a wink to the camera, “Let’s just say that regardless of what has happened to Judas, Rush Limbaugh better be worried.”  Warning! The Line of the Day is not an authorized infotainment product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious word choices. Only the part in bold is stolen from actual news sources.
 

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Warning! The Line of the Day is not an authorized infotainment product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious word choices. Only the part in bold is stolen from actual news sources.