Line of the Day
February 8, 2008
The day before the New Hampshire primary, Hillary Clinton teared up on camera.
The day before Super Tuesday, Hillary Clinton teared up on camera and had coughing fit on-air.
After Super Tuesday, Clinton announced that she had loaned her own
campaign $5 Million, and her campaign implied that senior staff were
going unpaid. The latter was particularly surprising as Clinton
is one of the all-time greatest political fund raisers in American
Aides denied any suggestion that Clinton was in any way
exaggerating her difficulties or even seeking to play to her
supporter's sense of victim hood. Nonetheless, a draft memo
fished from the garbage cans behind her campaign HQ is suggestive:
February 9 - LA, NE, WA Caucuses: Cry on camera, walk with limp
February 12 - VA, DC, MD Primaries: Cry, limp, wear sunglasses,
then remove to reveal black eye. Deny Bill hit you.
February 19 - HI Caucus, WI Primary: Announce cutting back tour
schedule to accommodate second job as Waffle House waitress.
March 4 - OH, RI, TX, VT Primaries: Wear arm in sling. Facial bruising. Deny Obama hit you.
March 8 - WY Caucus: Sling, neck brace, eye patch.
Prosthetic hand? Claw? Too harsh? Peg leg?
Too Pirate-y?? Youth vote?
March 11 - MS Primary: Act sleepy; explain that budget cuts have
left you malnourished because you insist "staffers eat first."
April 22 - PA Primary: Offer to sell Kidney, "lightly bruised."
May 20 - KY, OR Primaries: Wheelchair! Polio! FDR!
June 3 - MT, SD Primaries: TBD: Just a crown of thorns or a real cross?? Will depend on polling.
Further research tasks: What did Bette Davis have in "Dark
Victory"? What did the girl die of in "Love Story"? Can we save the
crucifixion for the general?
Line of the Day is not
an authorized infotainment
product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl
Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious
word choices. Only the part in bold
is stolen from actual news