Well, that's all well and good as a way to get you through an hour or so of bald-faced mendacity, oleaginous smirking, and lickspittle applause storms. But what do you do the next day? The next week? How can you calibrate your alcohol intake to match the vagaries of life in a Republican Infomercial? Easy. Just play the
Muskrat News Bush Era Drinking Game
It's Easy! Just buy a U-Haul trailer full of the liquor of your choice. Each morning, crack open a new bottle, and follow the chart. When you empty the bottle, crawl home, go to bed, and pull the covers over your head.
Please remember to "know your limits"
Do not under any circumstances drive, operate heavy machinery, or vote while drunk.
| Invasion of: | |
| Iran | 1 |
| Syria | 1 |
| North Korea | 1 |
| France | 2 |
| California | 4 |
| Supreme Court Chambers | 6 |
| Suspension of: | |
| Warrant Requirement | 3 |
| Trading on NYSE | 2 |
| First Amenedment | 4 |
| Right To Counsel | 2 |
| Habeus Corpus | 5 |
| Arrest of: | |
| Scary Falafel Seller on Corner | 1 |
| Louis Farrakhan | 1 |
| Paul O'Neil | 3 |
| Other: | |
| Terror Alert Level Raised | 2 |
| Terror Alert Level Lowered | 1 |
| New "Extra Scary" Black Level Added To Chart | 3 |
| Taxes Cut for Richest 10% of Americans; Poorest 30% Pay The Same | 1 |
| Taxes Cut for Richest 5% of Americans; Poorest 10% Pay More | 2 |
| Taxes Cut for Richest 1% of Americans; Poorest 5% Fed to Gators | 3 |
| Haliburton Awarded No-Bid Contract For "Supplying Gravity to Army" | 3 |
| Behavior Banned: | |
| Abortion | 1 |
| Same-Sex Unions | 1 |
| Premarital Sex | 1 |
| Birth Control | 2 |
| "Anything Past First Base" | 3 |
| And, Every Time.... | |
| Neighbor "Disappears" After Visit From "Plumbers" | 3 |
| Ashcroft Sends You Personal e-mail Saying "Please Wash Your South-Facing Windows" | 2 |
| Democratic Nominee Dies of "Mysterious Flu-Like Illness" | 2 |
| Your Boss, Mr. Smith, Asks You To Call Him "Special Agent Smith" | 1 |
| ACLU Web Site "Burns Down" in Mysterious "Electro-Fire" | 1 |
| Your Date Orders Drinks For You, And Yours is Sodium Pentathol | 2 |
| You Hear Static on Phone And Voice On Line Shouts "Hey, Bob! We Got Static!"; You're Not Bob | 1 |
| Al Franken Radio Show Interrupted for "Urgent" Crop Reports Lasting Three Hours | 2 |
| Washington Post Newsprint Supply "Stolen by Hijackers" As It Passes Ft. Belvoir on I-95 | 6 |
| Finally, | |
| Men in Dark Suits Follow You Home More Than Once a Week | 6 |
| Spouse Greets Men In Dark Suits With "I've Got It From Here." | 10 |