| At the advice of Arthur Anderson, the Bush administration will seek to ensure that corporate executives who violate the law, report false earnings, rob shareholders blind, bleed pension funds dry and give every honest businessman a bad name will now serve twice as much jail time as they would have previously faced. To take one example, Enron's Ken Lay, who hosed thousands of employees, will now serve no time in jail, twice the previous sentence of "no time in jail." Similarly, Worldcom's ex-CEO Bernard Ebbers, will now have to spend a total of zero days behind bars, twice as many as the no days at all he previously faced. "Two times zero is still zero," fumed Ralph Nader, but Bush disagreed. "I think we've taken a bold step to put the fear of nothing into these evildoers," said the President. VP Cheney, who may ultimately face up to no time in jail for accounting irregularities at his old firm Haliburton, said "I know it scares me," before breaking into a fit of giggles. |
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