| Games! It's not all levity here at MuskratCo HQ! We play games, too. We're very fond of INVASION BINGO, The Bush League Drinking Game, And our ever-popular MUSKRAT MISSILE DEFENSE GAME Not to mention, for the kiddies, our most popular feature: The MISSILE DEFENSE COLORING BOOK |
| LEGAL DISCLAIMER We have no respect for the law, so we hereby disclaim any attempt to take it seriously. Don't believe us? Check out our LEGAL ARTICLES |
| About Us Our Manifesto Business Plan Credits Complaints? Praise? Tell it to The Paw |
 |
 |
 |
| MISSILE DEFENSE UPDATE: NORAD DOCUMENTS FOUND IN DUMPSTER More More Legal HiJinks Research Reports |
 |
| Cool Muskrat Creation Legends from Native American Traditions. |
| US report maps terror scenarios
From www.news.bbc.co.uk/ A new US report is to outline a handful of frightening scenarios for possible terrorist attacks on the country. The National Planning Scenarios report, drafted over the past year, covers hypothetical nerve gas, anthrax, truck bomb and pneumonic plague attacks. The New York Times published what it said were details of the report, posted mistakenly on a government website in the state of Hawaii. It includes casualty figures and economic consequences for each of the possible scenarios. According to the newspaper, these included: --Blowing up a chlorine tank, killing 17,500 people and injuring more than 100,000 --Spreading pneumonic plague in the bathrooms of an airport, a sports arena and a railway station, killing 2,500 and making 8,000 ill worldwide --Infecting cattle with foot-and-mouth disease, at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars --Setting off a "dirty bomb", causing 540 initial deaths but spreading over 36 blocks and contaminating local facilities, including transport systems and a sewage treatment plant. --Supplying Americans with flammable paper tubes filled with carcinogenic plant substances which, when burned and inhaled, cause lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease and a host of other medical problems, killing more than 400,000 people/year. --Flooding America with cheap handguns, and make them available to criminals, the depressed, moody teenagers, stumblebums who can’t operate an egg whisk safely and of course to small children, killing 25,000. --Manufacture millions of smog-belching cars, then allow people to drive them while drunk, angry, late for appointments, sleep-deprived, or simply incompetent, killing 40,000 and injuring 3,000,000. --Spraying Jerry Springer in video form over major American cities, causing a plunge in average IQs and an explosive growth in the market for chair-throwing punks willing to debase themselves and their families just so they can be on TV. Deaths 0, but if trend is not stopped could lead to professional wrestling, “reality TV” and Defining Deviancy Downward. --Training the squirrels in Central Park to bite non-Muslims on the ankle. Death toll: 0, but some slowdown in NYC tourism. --Sitting in a freezing cave in Afghanistan, talking about the good old days when they could walk around in daylight without getting their asses bombed, and assuring themselves that “things will get better.” Death toll: 0. Remember, the part in BOLD is the actual truth-flavored product. The rest is fake. Previous Lines of the Day |
| Viewer reactions to my December 2004 appearance on Jeopardy! (all from www.televisionwithoutpity.com): (My version here) "Was it just me or did Tom seem strangely confrontational? His looks at Alex were giving off a "you wanna take this outside?" vibe. Odd man." "Tom acts cold and arrogant and just seems like a big dickweed." "Tom ... seems more consumed by betting big and looking like a stud than playing a well-managed game. I suspect he'll implode before racking up too many wins." |
|
|
 |
 |
 |