Initiative has already brought 'substantial benefits'
Rob Evans and David Hencke
Friday November 14, 2003
The Guardian
The government is helping the US to secure a guaranteed supply of oil from new sources in Africa and elsewhere, official documents obtained by the Guardian reveal. According to an internal memo to George Bush and Tony Blair, cooperation between the two governments has already delivered "immediate... substantial benefits". … The countries have agreed "a set of coordinated actions to help achieve our objectives" across the world.
Both governments are keenly aware that, while the demand for oil is likely to rise, they cannot depend on the volatile and hostile Middle East as a safe source. Officials had "compared notes on specific areas where we could work together to leverage resources effectively and avoid duplication of effort". These areas include Nigeria, Sao Tome, Equatorial Guinea and Angola.
Campaign groups have warned that the new oil rush will trigger conflict, corruption and environmental pollution. With some African governments likely to receive billions of dollars, there are fears that politicians will simply pocket the money or squander it on grandiose projects and the military, rather than on fighting poverty.
Experts cite the African countries lack of bomb craters, unexploded ordnance, and low number of amputees as barriers to their reaching the status of world-class oil-producing nations. "They're OK now, but frankly, they lack a cadre of rabidly anti-American widows and orphans."
Experts agree that America needs the practice. "Clearly the Army is having trouble dealing with a heavily-armed, well led insurgency in Iraq. Working over a pipsqueak like Sao Tome should enable them and CIA to get some practice in and tone up their reflexes before the next seasons starts," according to the UK Cabinet Minister for Sports and Coups.
Even Africans themselves agree that the initiative is necessary. "If we were to suddenly find ourselves with billions of dollars in oil revenue, God knows what we might do," said Olasungo Obasanji, of the Nigerian Polytechnic University. "With the help of the Americans, we can squander it through tax cuts and go back to our accustomed state of being deeply in debt."
But how will this play with those critics who claim that the Bush Administration's every move is the result of a single-minded fixation on petroleum on the part of two ex-oil industry insiders named Bush and Cheney? "This isn't about oil per se," said an exasperated spokesman for the Office of the Vice-President. "It's about …Oh, OK,. It's about oil, and our desire to mess around with tiny little countries that have it. I mean, come on… Equatorial Guinea? It doesn't even make a good trivia question. But with oil as an excuse, we can go in, destabilize the regime, whip up anti-American sentiment, and beat the crap out of their navy - all three speedboats of it.
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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