Tareq Aziz Was Urbane Frontman for Saddam Fri April 25, 2003 04:58 AM E
By Nadim Ladki
BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Iraq's former deputy prime minister Tareq Aziz  has surrendered to U.S. forces in Baghdad.
Aziz's sister was quoted as saying he was handed over on Thursday, and that he had requested medical care for a heart condition. He had reportedly suffered two recent heart attacks.
Upon hearing this news, Maybelle Hunnysuckle, 42, of Rabbit Springs, Arkansas, attempted to surrender herself to coalition forces as well, declaring herself a 'top honcho' of the Saddam regime.  "If I'd a known you could get free health care by surrendering, me and all the girls down at the Stuff-mart woulda given ourselves up years ago."  Ms.  Hunnysuckle, who suffers from chronic lower back pain, heart arrythmia and a history of inadequate dental care, said that her current employer does not offer health care coverage for its workers.  When asked exactly what her role had been in the Ba'ath party Administration of Iraq, Ms. Hunnysuckle replied torturing people and making them germ bombs.  Now can I have my Percodan?"
A coalition spokesperson declined to assess the validity of Ms. Hunnysuckle's claim but pointed out that "if every this catches on, we'd have to provide for every un- and under-insured American.  If that happened we'd be no better than Canada, providing health care for all of our citizens.  What kind of degenerates would that make us?  Health care is like tax cuts -- it's for those who are productive enough to be able to afford it.  Plus war criminals, prisoners, and puppies."