Difficile est satiram non scribere.
(It is difficult not to write satire.)
--Juvenal
U.S. Troops Seize Palestinian Diplomat in Baghdad
Wed May 28, 2003 11:37 AM ET
By Alistair Lyon
BAGHDAD (Reuters) - U.S. troops detained a Palestinian diplomat in Baghdad Wednesday in a move sure to anger Arab opinion, and a new council in the volatile northern oil city of Kirkuk elected a Kurdish mayor.
Soldiers handcuffed charge d'affaires Najah Abdul Rahman and four other men outside what ousted Iraqi President Saddam Hussein's government recognized as the Palestine embassy.
The troops said the men had illegal weapons, but it was not clear what had prompted them to disarm a Palestinian diplomat in a city awash with arms seven weeks after Saddam's overthrow.
Some observers speculated that the soldiers “might just be as dumb as mud.” Others disagreed, saying “Mud wouldn’t be dumb enough to do that.” CENTCOM officials declined to speculate on the intelligence of mud, but did deny that the seizure was an anti-Palestinian or anti-Arab move. “It’s strictly anti-diplomat” one colonel explained. “Gotta keep those weenies under control before they negotiate something.”
In other news, the Bush administration is believed to be planning to announce that there is evidence that Iran is “manufacturing consensus,” which the administration characterizes as a “violation of their appointed role as a punching bag.”
SPECIAL BONUS LINE OF THE DAY:
Microsoft Pulls Update for Windows
Wed May 28, 2003 12:07 AM ET
SEATTLE (Reuters) - Microsoft Corp. said on Tuesday it has withdrawn a security update for its Windows XP software after discovering that it switched off Internet connections for some of the 600,000 users who downloaded and installed it.
The update, a small software addition that is used to fix and add features to existing software programs, was originally aimed at improving the security of Internet connections.
Removing the software update would restore the Internet connection, Microsoft said. A new update was being prepared, it said.
The new update will cause computers to spontaneously combust
(Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product. The rest is the fakey part.)