Just so we're clear on the concept, each item starts with an excerpt from a real news source. That part is in
bold
. The rest is, well,
fake
. I mean, who would name an Undersecretary of State "John Bolton," anyway?
July 2004
07/28/04
Cheney Drops Halliburton For Bayer
07/27/04
Hillary Endorses Kerry Through Clenched Teeth
07/26/04
Ghost of Orwell Visits Boston
07/23/94
Army Says It's Never Done This Before
07/20/04
Missile Defense Agency Misses The Point
07/19/04
CIA Stuffs State Department Into Gym Locker
07/16/04
Nerds Gone WIld
07/15/04
Feds Detain Prometheus in "Hot Bomb" Plot
07/14/04
Ashcroft Lauds Patriot Act's Killing Power
07/13/04
Irish Stage "Idiot Pride" Parade; Idiots Object
07/12/04
Congress Says CIA Overestimated Boogeyman Threat
07/08/04
Fear and Loathing in the White House
07/07/04
Cheney "Relieved" Hobo's Corpse Found In His Bedroom
07/06/04
New CheneyBot Promised To Be "More Vicious"
07/02/04
New Charity Sends Help to Tragically Clueless
07/01/04
Owner's manual for your New Hydrogen Atom
June 2004
06/30/04
Saddam's Defense: He Had Legal Memo Justifying Invasion of Kuwait
06/29/04
Bremer Says He Still Respects Iraq, But Cannot Stay For Breakfast
06/28/04
Archbishop Knows As Much ABout Law As He Does ABout Sex
06/24/04
Rumsfeld Poetry Cruel, But Not Torture
06/23/04
Lawyers To Test Effect Of Drugs On ... Lawyers
06/22/04
Private Space Plane Pretty But Useless
06/21/04
Federal Judicial Nominee To Attend law School "Soon"
06/18/04
Fox To Guard Hen House
06/17/04
Bush Says Regrets Sosa Trade, But Slugger Had Ties To al-Qaeda
06/16/04
Senator Kennedy Shows Lack of Imagination
06/15/04
Man, Was This Embarassing
06/14/04
Hot New Stock Tip: Street Gang IPOs
06/11/04
Reagan Funeral To Feature Moving Eulogy For Hair Dye
06/10/04
Cyborg Park Rangers Hand Out Maps, Justice
06/09/04
Bush Memo says Commander in Chief Has Authority to Litter, Spit
06/08/04
NEA, Oddly, Funds Reagan Funeral
06/07/04
To Honor Reagan, Federal Offices And American Minds To Close Friday
06/03/04
Bush Thanks God Irony Died on 9/11
06/02/04
Government Declares Matches to be "The New WMD"
06/01/04
Memorial Day Isn't The Way We Remember It Being
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