Just so we're clear on the concept, each item starts with an excerpt from a real news source. That part is in
bold
. The rest is, well,
fake
. I mean, who would name an Undersecretary of State "John Bolton," anyway?
February 2004
02/27/04
Pentagon Defends Crucifixion Scene in "Passion of the Halliburton"
02/26/04
Haiti Violence Given its Own MTV Special
02/25/04
NY Schools Train Students For Lives as Haliburton Wage Slaves
02/24/04
Halliburton Probe Proceeding On "All 1.2 Cylinders"
02/23/04
Nader Sees Shadow of a Chance, So We Get Four More Years of War
02/20/04
Chicago Permits The Dead to Marry
02/19/04
White House Distorts Science, According To Unpatriotic Longhairs
02/17/04
GIbson Deletes Jar-Jar Binks From Passion Flic, Adds Yoda The Apostle
02/16/04
Yankess Acquire A-Rod, Refuse IAEA Inspections
02/12/04
Bush Hopes Voters Won't Export His Job To Massachusetts-Based Rival
02/10/04
Service Records Show No "Service Related Program Activites"
02/09/04
Sharon Blames Kidney Stones on "Mineral Extremists"
02/08/04
Dean Second to "Homicidal Rage" in Haitian Primary
02/05/04
M*skr^t N<ws Rns Lw N V0wls, Sks Mkshft Sbst1tts
02/04/04
Courts Allow Scientists Access to 9,000 Year Old Skeleton
02/03/04
Gibson To Save Blood Libel For "Blooper Reel"
02/02/04
NASA Hard At Work on Jackson Wardrobe - Supply your own commas
02/01/04
UN Inspectors fail to Discover NMD in US
January 2004
01/29/03
Unsinkable Dean Campaign Scoffs At Iceberg Warnings
01/27/03
Cheney Places Vatican On "Axis Of Annoying" List
01/26/04
Limbaugh's Pill Intake Seen as Reasonable "On a Per Pound Basis"
01/25/04
Military Translators Arrested On Suspicion of Polylingualism
01/22/04
Missile Defense Rockets Replaced by "Mean Looking Guy" With Crowbar
01/21/04
Internet Voting System Flummoxed By Electro-Chads
01/20/04
CNN Suffers Historical Amnesia
01/19/04
Apple Introduces Elegant, Stylish, Non-Functional iThing
01/18/04
NASA Attempts to Save Hubble By Making It More Manly
01/15/04
Military Defense Lawyers Court-Martiled For "Trying Too Hard"
01/14/04
We're From Washington, And We're Here To Help Your Marriage
01/13/04
Photos of Bush Moon Announcement Look Doctored
01/12/04
Operation Desert Badger: The Search For Acorns of Mass Destruction
01/11/04
White House Calls "Big Fish" an Anti-French Masterpiece
01/09/04
Apple, HP, IHOP announce MP-3 enabled Pancakes
01/08/04
Bush, Fearing Surplus, Orders Budget Funds Wasted On Moon Base
01/07/04
Halliburton "Strongly Suspects" It Did Nothing Wrong
01/06/04
Kissinger Admits Betting on Vietnam War "But Never From White House"
01/05/04
F-35 Says Bombs Make Its Wings Look Fat
01/04/04
Bush Insists Mars Explorer "Not Just Looking For Oil."
01/03/04
Inside Scoop From Gitmo
01/02/04
Muskrat News Staff Released From Guantanamo
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