Hey, Kids! Here's an old game with a new twist. It's called "Invasion Bingo." Just watch your local news outlet, and each time the Bush Adminstration occupies or destroys one of the squares, you mark it off your card. When you get five in a row, you win! Prizes include an increased tax burden, ever-tackier Fox News logos, and creeping casualty figures.
Remember, no counting invasions from previous administrations!
FAQ:
Q. Do I have to play? (K. Annan, New York)
A. No, but if you don't, you get no prizes, and your name goes in a square.
Q. How can I get my country out of a square? (J. Mitterand, Paris)
A. It involves a Macy's shop window, high noon, and a physical display of affection. Plus, stop with the Jerry Lewis stuff.
Q. Isn't this just a rip-off the law school game "gunner bingo"?
A. Your point being...?
Q. Are employess of the Department of Defense, Halliburton, Bechtel, or their immediate families allowed to play? (P. Wolfowitz, Washington)
A. Not only are they allowed to, they seem to win most of the games.
Q. Does the invasion have to be succesful before I can mark off the square? (S. Hussein, Nasiriya)
A. They are all succesful. And there was no looting.
Q. When does a "temporary incursion" count as an invasion? (Y. Arafat, Gaza City)
A. When the President's poll numbers go up.
Q. Does an overflight by Predator Drones count as an invasion? (H. Turabi, Tehran)
A. No, but it is an encouraging sign.
Q. Does the Entire Bill of Rights have to quashed beore I can mark off that sqaure, or just the first, fifth and sixth Amendments? (R. Bader-Ginsburg, Washington, DC)
A. That does it. You're getting a square.
Remember Kids, the motto of the New World Order:
Don't be a Square!! |
