was running out for them to "climb on board" its plans for a missile
defense shield.
"The question is what, how and when. The train is about to pull out of
the station. We invite our friends and allies...to climb on board,"
Bolton said.
Asked about a report in the "London Trainspotter's Weekly" that the ABM
Train was, in fact, no more than a rail yard full of disconnected
locomotives, coaches, cabooses, dining cars and baggage cars ranging
from decrepit antiques to to untried new designs, plus a series of
doodles on the back of a napkin, Bolton fumed "it's the finest Damn
train in the world. Once we put it together, it will run flawlessly.
Once we decide what 'flawlessly' means."
When a reporter asked why none of the details such as time of
departure, ultimate destination, track number, system configuration,
command and control architecture, or even type of warhead were available
in the latest railroad timetable, Bolton seemed to get a little angry.
"Look. If Harry Potter can find track 9 3/4, then you wimps out to be
able to find the ABM Umbrella express. And once we get going, those
proliferating bastards at Hogwarts had better be ready. We have
reaptedly said we will not tolerate WMD (Wizards, Monsters, and Demons)
in the hands of tyrants, and the links between North Korea and Hermione
Granger have been well-documented by Under Secretary Voldemort."
Bolton then doffed his blue and white railroad hat and choo-chooed his
way out of the room.