"Difficile est satiram non scribere." (It is difficult to not write satire.) - Juvenal

Line of the Day

November 27, 2006

The Associated Press surveyed about 20 percent of eligible voters, and only one in four who gave an opinion plan to vote for [Mark] McGwire this year. That's far short of the 75 percent necessary to gain induction.

When he hit 70 homers in 1998 -- breaking the mark of 61 Roger Maris had set 37 years earlier -- McGwire became a national hero for his Paul Bunyan-like physique and feats. ... But his reputation plummeted following allegations [of steroid use and] McGwire's testimony to a congressional committee on March 17, 2005, when he repeatedly avoided questions, saying time after time: ''I'm not here to talk about the past.''

McGwire will instead be awarded the Donald Rumsfeld Memorial Award, given to the person who's personal stock has fallen furthest from its original high.  Theeaward is named for an obscure old man, who was once touted as a brilliant Pentagon reformer.  Former recipients of the award include Karl Rove,  Kobe Bryant, and Mel Gibson.  Future recipients will include the Baseball Writers of America once people realize that they threw McGwire overboard, but kept the awards, bonuses, and promotions they reaped by following his every move in 1998. 
Warning! The Line of the Day is not an authorized infotainment product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious word choices. Only the part in bold is stolen from actual news sources.
Lines of Previous Days

10/08/08   Navy Lawyer Promoted to "Civilian"
10/09/06   Google!  Boo!
10/11/06   Justice Runs Out of Ideas
10/12/06   It's Hard Out There For Karl Rove
10/18/06 Miscellaneous
10/20/06   Rove Sick of 99 Bottles of beer Song
10/26/06   Candidate Sorry to Slime Rival

11/08/06   Rove Seeks New Challenges

11/12/06   Dems promise to Fail in Bold New Ways

11/17/06   Bo Dies One For The Gipper