Line of the Day
November 27, 2006
The Associated Press surveyed about 20
percent of eligible voters, and only one in four who gave an opinion
plan to vote for [Mark] McGwire this year. That's far short of the 75
percent necessary to gain induction.
When he hit 70 homers in 1998 -- breaking the mark of 61 Roger Maris
had set 37 years earlier -- McGwire became a national hero for his Paul
Bunyan-like physique and feats. ... But his reputation plummeted
following allegations [of steroid use and] McGwire's testimony to a
congressional committee on March 17, 2005, when he repeatedly avoided
questions, saying time after time: ''I'm not here to talk about the
past.''
McGwire will instead be awarded the Donald Rumsfeld Memorial
Award, given to the person who's personal stock has fallen furthest
from its original high. Theeaward is named for an obscure old
man, who was once touted as a brilliant Pentagon reformer. Former
recipients of the award include Karl Rove, Kobe Bryant, and Mel
Gibson. Future recipients will include the Baseball Writers of
America once people realize that they threw McGwire overboard, but kept
the awards, bonuses, and promotions they reaped by following his every
move in 1998.
Lines of Previous Days
10/08/08 Navy
Lawyer Promoted to
"Civilian"
10/09/06 Google! Boo!
10/11/06 Justice Runs Out
of Ideas
10/12/06 It's Hard Out
There For Karl Rove
10/18/06
Miscellaneous
10/20/06 Rove Sick of 99 Bottles of beer Song
10/26/06 Candidate Sorry to Slime Rival
11/08/06 Rove Seeks New Challenges
11/12/06 Dems promise to Fail in Bold New Ways
11/17/06 Bo Dies One For The Gipper