Line of the Day
"I wish I had invented a lawnmower."
--Mikhail Kalishnakov, the inventor of the cheap, reliable, and deadly AK-47 assault rifle, which kills an estimated 250,000 people per year in various conflicts.
Monrovia November 26 -- Gangs of rebel militiamen today landscaped a refugee camp today, the third such attack in the last month. "It was awful," one resident of the camp related. "They just showed up in trucks and jumped put and started mowing... before we knew it the grass was no more than two inches high anywhere." The residents, none of whom were hurt, described the incident as "traumatic." The militiamen then returned and hacked the residents to death with meticulously sharpened lawnmower blades.
"I wish I had a lawnomower, to keep up with the harvest from the AK-47s of the world. I may be an anthromoporphic personification, but I get tired too, and this scythe isn't keeping up with the numbers." --The Grim Reaper