"Difficile est satiram non scribere." (It is difficult to not write satire.) - Juvenal

Line of the Day

November 26, 2006


"I wish I had invented a lawnmower."

--Mikhail Kalishnakov, the inventor of the cheap, reliable, and deadly AK-47 assault rifle, which kills an estimated 250,000 people per year in various conflicts.

Monrovia November 26 -- Gangs of rebel militiamen today landscaped a refugee camp today, the third such attack in the last month.  "It was awful," one resident of the camp related.  "They just showed up in trucks and jumped put and started mowing... before we knew it the grass was no more than two inches high anywhere."  The residents, none of whom were hurt, described the incident as "traumatic."  The militiamen then returned and hacked the residents to death with meticulously sharpened lawnmower blades.

"I wish I had a lawnomower, to keep up with the harvest from the AK-47s of the world.  I may be an anthromoporphic personification, but I get tired too, and this scythe isn't keeping up with the numbers."  --The Grim Reaper

Warning! The Line of the Day is not an authorized infotainment product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious word choices. Only the part in bold is stolen from actual news sources.
Lines of Previous Days

10/08/08   Navy Lawyer Promoted to "Civilian"
10/09/06   Google!  Boo!
10/11/06   Justice Runs Out of Ideas
10/12/06   It's Hard Out There For Karl Rove
10/18/06 Miscellaneous
10/20/06   Rove Sick of 99 Bottles of beer Song
10/26/06   Candidate Sorry to Slime Rival

11/08/06   Rove Seeks New Challenges

11/12/06   Dems promise to Fail in Bold New Ways

11/17/06   Bo Dies One For The Gipper

11/19/06   Bush Visits Vietnam. Finally.