Line of the Day
November 26, 2006
"I wish I had invented a lawnmower."
--Mikhail Kalishnakov, the inventor of
the cheap, reliable, and deadly AK-47 assault rifle, which kills an
estimated 250,000 people per year in various conflicts.
Monrovia November 26 -- Gangs of rebel militiamen today landscaped a
refugee camp today, the third such attack in the last month. "It
was awful," one resident of the camp related. "They just showed
up in trucks and jumped put and started mowing... before we knew it the
grass was no more than two inches high anywhere." The residents,
none of whom were hurt, described the incident as "traumatic."
The militiamen then returned and hacked the residents to death with
meticulously sharpened lawnmower blades.
"I wish I had a lawnomower, to
keep up with the harvest from the AK-47s of the world. I may be
an anthromoporphic personification, but I get tired too, and this
scythe isn't keeping up with the numbers." --The Grim Reaper
Lines of Previous Days
10/08/08 Navy
Lawyer Promoted to
"Civilian"
10/09/06 Google! Boo!
10/11/06 Justice Runs Out
of Ideas
10/12/06 It's Hard Out
There For Karl Rove
10/18/06
Miscellaneous
10/20/06 Rove Sick of 99 Bottles of beer Song
10/26/06 Candidate Sorry to Slime Rival
11/08/06 Rove Seeks New Challenges
11/12/06 Dems promise to Fail in Bold New Ways
11/17/06 Bo Dies One For The Gipper
11/19/06 Bush Visits Vietnam. Finally.