"Difficile est satiram non scribere." (It is difficult to not write satire.) - Juvenal

Line of the Day
Special Multi-Line Edition

October 18, 2006

NYC Mayor Bloomberg's Lexus Carjacked in New Jersey. 

The vehicle was being driven by an employee of the mayor's when two people assaulted him and forced him out of the car, driving off.  The car was recovered, abandoned but undamaged, a couple of hours later and seven miles away.

Mayor reported to be furious ... "this kind of violence is supposed to be our specialty," fumes mayor.  "I can't believe we're being surpassed in the category of 'random crackhead crime' by Jersey."  He immediately ordered police patrols to be stepped down, and ordered extra officers home to bed.  "I'll show those punks who's got the worst streets in the world if I have to start doing drive-bys myself." 

Bush Signs Detention Bill

Rove Highly Optimistic GOP will retain cotrol of Congress in elections

Two stories not related, really.

Lay Conviction Voided on Grounds the Dead Cannot be Punished

Cheney Laywers Ask if Rule Applies to Undead or Those Whose "Dessicated, lifeless hearts are buried in occult places, and whose bodies are instead animated by pure evil"...Really Just a Hypothetical, Claims Veep's Lawyer...

Warning! The Line of the Day is not an authorized infotainment product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious word choices. Only the part in bold is stolen from actual news sources.
Lines of Previous Days

10/08/08   Navy Lawyer Promoted to "Civilian"
10/09/06   Google!  Boo!
10/11/06   Justice Runs Out of Ideas
10/12/06   It's Hard Out There For Karl Rove
10/18/06 All On Board the Victory Express!