former director of faith-based programs in the Bush White House has
written a book claiming that the program was just a tool to promote
Republican electoral campaigns, and little money actually got funneled
through faith-based charities. The book goes on to claim that
many Bush administration officials privately mocked members of the faith
communities in question and referred to them as "nuts."
We decided to ask Evangelical Faith herself about the experience.
We found her loitering at the intersection of Main and Skidmore,
dressed in a neon pink tank top, a black lycra miniskirt, and stiletto
"Wait - let me get this straight," she said. "That guy down at
the bus station, the one with the fur coat, the tricked-out Cadillac, the big floppy hat
with the feather in it, the vulgar bling — he turned out to be a
pimp?!? How could this be?!? He swore he was just trying to be nice to
the new girls in town! He swore he was going to protect them from bad
people! He even had a place where they could stay! He planted stories
in the press about how many people on his staff went to Bible Study!
Bible Study! Surely an anonymous story in the media can’t be
wrong!" Her bitter laughter quickly turned into a hacking cough
that nearly dislodged her cheap blond wig.
Asked if she felt betrayed by the Administration's actions, she laughed
bitterly. "Betrayed? Why? Because that SOB promised
abortions and put prayer back in the schools, and all I got was the
Alito nomination?" She paused briefly to wave at a passing car,
which passed without slowing down. Asked why she didn't simply
Bush, Faith shrugged. "I should, but he'd be calling me a
and spreading it around town that I was in favor of cutting and
running." She paused to take a deep draw on her cigarette, then
brightened. "Besides, he said he's going to ban gay marriage for
I bring in enough votes this year." She smiled while shivering in
the 60-degree temperature, and asked if this reporter wanted to "join
the GOP majority." This reporter declined when Faith was unable
to make change for a ten.
Line of the Day is not
an authorized infotainment
product! It contains material not previously cleared/authored by Karl
Rove. By definition, therefore, it is a farrago of lies and pretentious
word choices. Only the part in bold is stolen from actual news
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