| Games! It's not all levity here at MuskratCo HQ! We play games, too. We're very fond of INVASION BINGO, The Bush League Drinking Game, And our ever-popular MUSKRAT MISSILE DEFENSE GAME Not to mention, for the kiddies, our most popular feature: The MISSILE DEFENSE COLORING BOOK |
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| Cool Muskrat Creation Legends from Native American Traditions. |
| Washington Post Co. Buying Web Magazine Slate
By Howard Kurtz Washington Post Staff Writer Tuesday, December 21, 2004; 4:15 PM The Washington Post Co. said today it is buying Slate in an effort to boost the newspaper company's online traffic but does not plan any editorial changes at the eight-year-old Web magazine. In announcing a deal to buy Slate from Microsoft Corp. for an undisclosed sum, said to be in the millions of dollars, Post executives said they would keep Jacob Weisberg as editor and most of the 30-person staff. Cliff Sloan, general counsel of Washington Post Newsweek Interactive, will also become publisher of the money-losing magazine when the deal takes effect next month. A similar deal to purchase the Web Newspaper MuskratNews fell through earlier in the day, when the Post refused to meet Muskrat News’ Publisher Thurgood Barnstable McWhoop’s asking price of “the answer to clue 37 down in yesterday’s crossword.” Muskrat news remains one of the few independent internet or paper-based newspapers as wave after wave of consolidation has washed through the nation’s media outlets. This despite McWhoop’s relentless, some would say desperate, attempts to sell out to a larger media empire. “Gannet said no, Time Warner threw us off the property, Clear Channel spit on us and called us vermin, and ABC/Disney set out traps for us,” lamented McWhoop, who acquired the relentlessly unprofitable media outlet in a narcotic-induced bidding war over the remains of the North Waxahatchie People’s News Cooperative, Hemp Farm and Mung Bean Distributorship in 2002. McWhoop, who had recently been both overmedicated and exposed to “Citizen Kane,” had never worked in news before, which quickly became apparent to his readers. The obvious displeasure of their publisher has not affected morale at Muskrat News. The majority of its staffers are on work-release from the Howell H Huffleump State Reformatory for Sarcastic Youth, and there is little they can do. The remainder, most of whom were inherited by McWhoop from the Mung bean coop, have shown remarkable job loyalty, perhaps because they are, in their own words, “chronically unemployable in any sane capitalist enterprise.” Holiday potpourri: Me: Hi, I’m… Salesclerk at High-End mall Boutique: Sir, unless you are shopping for someone else, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Me: Leave? I could wear this stuff. See? You have my size: XXXXXXLLLLLXXLXLXLXLX. Clerk: Sir, we only stock that to comply with the “Americans With Large Asses Disabilities Act.” Now please step away from the merchandise or I will be forced to pout. Remember, the part in BOLD is the actual truth-flavored product. The rest is fake. Previous Lines of the Daycell padding = 2 border width = 4 |