Allen Pusey
Dallas Morning News
Nov. 11, 2004 12:00 AM
WASHINGTON - When he presents himself at confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee, White House Counsel Al Gonzales will be a familiar face.
As the administration's liaison for judicial appointments, Gonzales worked relentlessly to clear the path for Republican judicial appointments.
But as the nominee for attorney general, Gonzales will be asked to explain his record on potentially controversial subjects, among them Abu Ghraib. Early in the war on terrorism, the Defense Department announced plans to hold high-risk detainees from Afghanistan at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Placing prisoners outside the reach of any international laws or treaties, including the Geneva Conventions, was supported in a series of memos, some written by Gonzales.
In a January 2002 memo, Gonzales wrote: "This new paradigm renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of its provisions."
In order to shorten up the confirmation process, Muskrat News hereby provides list of some other things that Judge Gonzalez considers “Quaint”:
--Gingham dresses for farm wives
--Country stores with potbelly stoves in the middle for sittin’ and talkin’
--The Bill of Rights
--Whittling
--Arctic Sea Ice
--Letting Judges decide what the law means
--Campaign finance laws
--Access to counsel
--Ice boxes that use real ice to cool food.
And things he considers are now obsolete:
--Juries
--Horse-drawn buggies
--Newspapers that remind people he received election funds from Halliburton when running for the Texas Supreme Court
--Information on family planning
--Due Process
--Butter churns
--Steam locomotives
Finally, a seldection of the question he’ll get at his confirmation hearings from Republicans:
--Hot enough for you?
--Aren’t you proud to be the first Hispanic Attorney-General?
--Are you ready for the rapture?
And from Democrats:
--Who decides when a legally-binding treaty is quaint and can be ignored?
--Oh, crap. What’s the point?
Outraged responses to this story can be e-mailed to Webmaster@muskratnews.com
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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