Top Ten Good Things About Four More Years of Bush:
10. Popular vote majority ends Bush's crippling public battle with self-doubt.
9. Life will get better for America's oppressed and neglected rich people.
8. No more pesky health insurance forms to fill out now that all employers have switched to "Go Screw Yourself" health care plans.
7. This time, By God, we're going to win in Viet-raq. Iraq-nam. Whatever.
6. Drilling in Arctic will kill off nasty, diseased, possibly incestuous caribou.
5. Kerry smart enough to find other job; Bush has no job skills.
4. Words "Under God" retained in Pledge of Allegiance, added to "Eat in or take out?"
3. Pesky Osama sure to be caught this time!
2. Paul Wolfowitz no longer scheming Deputy Secretary at Pentgon. Now Scheming Secretary.
1. Nuclear War on Korean Peninsula sure to boost CNN ratings.
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Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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