Pentagon denies hiding terror suspects
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
WASHINGTON -- The Pentagon on Wednesday denied it is hiding any imprisoned terrorism suspects from the International Committee of the Red Cross. A Defense Department spokesman would not comment on whether other U.S. agencies might be doing so.
"I can say that ICRC has access to all detainee operations under our control," said Larry Di Rita, chief spokesman for Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld. "And beyond that, I'm just not prepared to discuss it."
The CIA has declined comment on whether it may be holding terrorism suspects at foreign locations.
Suspicion continues to focus on the Department of Energy, however, who have long been rumored to have a prisoner known only as "Prometheus" in detention in an undisclosed location. Prometheus is said to have traffic in the technology of weapons of mass destruction. Some say he is a scientist from Los Alamos who downloaded sensitive nuclear weapons data onto one of the lab's now-infamous hard drives for delivery to foreign agents. Others say he is a Greek national who downloaded "fire" onto a "stick" and smuggled it out of the top-secret facility.
The Department of Homeland Jitters is said to be especially concerned that the technology behind fire could be used to create a weapon that would burn or scorch innocent victims. "Fire is a key terrorist technology," said Secretary of Night Sweats Tom Ridge. "If shoe-bomber Richard Reid had had fire, he could have lit the fuse to his shoes."
Experts agree that fire is a key terrorist technology, being used to light fuses, provide night-vision capability, and to keep people warm in their mountain caves. The loss of this technology has spurred calls for greater government attention to security, and a national inventory of sticks and other flammable things, but there are already rumors that some agencies, particularly the Forest Service, cannot account for all of their sticks.
Meanwhile, rumors abound as to the location of Prometheus. The Pentagon has denied that he is being held at Guantanamo, but the latest whisper is that there is a new facility, known only as "The Big Rock" where the man is being held.
Adding to the administration's headaches, rumors of torture and Abu-Ghraib like conditions at the Big Rock are swirling, with one report indicating that Prometheus is chained in an uncomfortable position for eternity, and that Donald Rumsfeld has approved interrogation methods that include "having his liver pecked out each day by a magical bird." This practice is said to be justified by a Department of Justice memo claiming that liver-pecking does not amount to torture, and that even if it does, the President's authority as Godlike Being in Chief cannot be questioned by mere mortals.
As was the case with Guantanamo detainess, however, at least one lawyer is challenging the detention of Prometheus. The man, dressed in a toga and known only as Socrates, has petitioned the Supreme Court to rule on the question of whether a mythical figure can be held without access to a lawyer, and whether the jurisdiction of the federal courts extends to allegorical tales. A ruling is expected soon, or at least the moral of the story.
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