U.N. Leader Arrives to Find Sudan Camp Emptied of Residents
By Emily Wax
Washington Post Foreign Service
Friday, July 2, 2004; Page A12
MESHKEL, Sudan, July 1 -- In a move that befuddled U.N. officials, the Sudanese villagers in [a refugee camp that was to have been visited by Kofi Annan] were moved overnight and in the morning, said Jan Egeland, the U.N. undersecretary general for humanitarian affairs. They were loaded into government trucks "apparently to be dumped," he said, at the gates of the already overcrowded Abu Shouk camp, 12 miles away, where 40,000 people live in a stretch of open desert.
The Sudanese government's social affairs minister, Ahnoun Mohammed Ebrahim, said the villagers were moved to protect them from possible flooding and disease in the low-lying area when the seasonal rains come. He dismissed suggestions that they were transported to lessen the impact of the crisis for Annan's visit to the Darfur region, where more than 1 million people have been left homeless by a government-backed Arab militia group terrorizing the area.
"Everyday we move people," Ebrahim said to reporters.
But Egeland said: "I can't imagine why they were spontaneously moved. Probably these people will be back tonight."
Muskrat news is proud to sponsor a very special charity event: We are raising money to help treat a tragic disability. Thousand of people are afflicted every year, usually struck down when they are very young. Even more tragically, many of the victims live a long, lingering existence with the burden of this impairment. Like little Jan, they were born without a clue. They will be force to live their lives in a state of constant puzzlement at the ways of the world. They will be duped by lovers, taken in by fast-talking salesmen, and bamboozeled by unscrupulous politicians like Ahmad Chalabi. But don't call them boneheads, nitwits, or blithering idiots. They are the clue-impaired community.
Work is under way on a cure. Scientists tell us that that cluelessness can be treated with a combination of education and repeated slaps upside the head, but the technique has not yet been perfected. In the meantime, victims have to rely on clumsy prosthetic clues such as notecards with "he's lying" and "Suspect the Worst" written on them.
We urge our readers to contribute to this worthy cause. Imagine the sad face of poor Jan as he wonders why the Sudanese government, currently engaged in a genocidal war of extermination in Darfur, would move refugees around like cattle. Feel his pain as he struggles to comprehend how those nice government representatives could treat the poor villagers so badly. No matter how stone-cold obvious it is to those of us lucky enough to have been born with a clue, poor Jan is stumped. Help him. He needs it.
To contribute, write your clue on a 3x5 card and mail it to the Jan Egeland, The UN, New York, NY. Or e-mail us here at Muskrat News, including your clue, and we'll forward them to the UN. Also, send us money, which we'll keep. They'll never know the difference.
Please be generous. As you read this, somewhere, a member of the clue-impaired community is listening to Ahmad Chalabi.
Outraged responses to this story can be e-mailed to Webmaster@muskratnews.com
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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