By John Antczak
ASSOCIATED PRESS
8:48 a.m. June 21, 2004
Most observers were unimpressed, noting that the Earth's atmosphere starts at ground level. Still, some praised the effort. "We're very proud of the team," said Lemuel Gullible, of the Society For Low Expectations. "It was a heck of an achievement to get an inch off the ground." The teeter-totter-powered spaceship, made of an old cardboard carton and manned by Billy Sklunge, age 7, made its flight from the playground at P.S.67 in then Bronx.
In other news, a grown-up space craft was the first privately funded craft to reach the top of Earth's atmosphere, although it lacked the range or payload capacity to reach orbit. "We're very proud of having spent $30 Million dollars of investor money to build a giant theme park ride," said designer Burt Rutan. "This kind of work is so much more fun than making practical things."
NASA, however, scoffed at the achievement, noting that the craft was "too safe" and provided "no thrills at all, because you know it's coming back safely. Besides," they added, "We could have done the same thing, but for only $100,000,000 a lot cheaper." When informed that $100 Million was in fact more than $30 Million, the NASA spokesman said "That's what the engineers said, but we had a meeting of our top managers and decided it was less."
Rutan's next project will be to design and fly a supersonic paper airplane.
Special Bonus LOTD
Refusing to Give Name a Crime
Supreme Court Upholds Nevada Law Requiring Identification
By Charles Lane
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, June 22, 2004; Page A06
The Supreme Court yesterday upheld a state law that makes it a crime to refuse to tell the police one's name when stopped for suspicious behavior, a ruling that strengthens the ability of law enforcement officers to detain citizens even where they lack enough evidence for a full arrest.
The opinion in the case, written by Justice Gollum, says "Yesss, they must tell us their nameses… nasty, thieving Hobbits, sneaking around…. Must find the one named Baggins…They must tell us, mustn't they? Yessss. Don't trust those fat little hobbitses and their riddles. Tell us their names they will, and WHAT HAS IT GOT IN ITS POCKETSESS!?!
The court declined to address the issue of police asking for rank and serial number, which leaves American citizens with, barely, more rights than a POW. For now.
Outraged response sto this story can be e-mailed to Webmaster@muskratnews.com
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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