Senate votes to continue arms research
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
WASHINGTON -- The Bush administration's research into new nuclear "bunker buster" and "mini-nuke" nuclear warheads survived a vote Tuesday in the Senate after a House subcommittee refused last week to provide any more money for it.
By a 55-42 vote, the Senate rejected an amendment to a $447 billion defense bill that would cancel further research on the proposed weapons.
The nuclear bunker buster would be intended to reach deeply buried targets, such as underground military command centers beyond capability of conventional bombs to penetrate. The mini-nuke warhead of less than 5,000 tons of TNT - one-fourth the explosive power of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima, Japan, in 1945 - would cause less damage and fewer deaths in the area around a target, its advocates say.
Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., said he couldn't "imagine a dumber idea."
"If the Bush administration has its way, the next war could very well be a nuclear war," Kennedy said.
Republicans did not disagree with the Senator. "Well, it would avoid the whole question of how to treat prisoners, now wouldn't it," queried Republican House Member Mark Stumpjumper. "Plus, no more pesky militias, no ambushes, no arguing over the form of government. Just the sound of the wind blowing through the ash piles."
Political pundits were quick to criticize Kennedy's remarks. "Nothing? He can't think of a single thing dumber than this?" asked syndicated columnist Fern Latchkey. "What about flavored waters? What about Reality TV? My God, what about 'Soul Plane'?"
Kennedy supports suggested he had been referring only to ideas not yet implemented, but after questioning they agreed that, as boneheaded as it is to spend millions of dollars on weapons no rational president would use, there are some even dumber ideas out there floating around. They include:
--Invading Iran to stop its nuclear weapons program, then spending a year looking for the program and not finding it.
--Standing between a female Grizzly bear and her cubs.
--Smoking crack to help study for exams
--Trimming your toenails with a handgun.
--Hiring The al-Qaeda training academy marching band to play at you son's bar mitzvah.
--Trying to drink Pepsi with a fork.
--Expecting to see the Pope slam-dunk at the next Vatican intramural basketball game.
--Two words: Steel origami
--Voting for Bush.
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