President Bush often compares 9/11 to Pearl Harbor. That analogy would hold true only if, after being attacked by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor, we invaded Norway.
Thank You! Don't forget to tip your waitresses!
We will address the technical isues and be back tomorrow with more wilted, uninspiring satire.
We apologize again.
I mean, we're really grovelling here.
If we were Japanese, you'd be seeing blood right now.
We're so stinkin' sorry.
See, the Cubs game went late last night, so we didn't start writing until 11:00, and we were sleepy, and our eyes were stinging from focusing on our little laptop, and when Geocities stopped responding, we chose to accept their bland assurances that the page had been posted instead of checking it.
We would like to apologize in particular to the people at HumorFeed, who continue to let our little play-school version of a satire site share space with real sites.
11:15 Did we mention how sorry we were?
Oh, screw it - nobody reads these anyway. (sobs)
Don't! Don't tell me "It will be all right"! I've dishonred my family and the whole muskrat phylum.
I don't deserve to be on the internet.
I need a drink.
There's a liquor store right around the corner on Wells....
12:15 Alert reader #1 informs us there are like, a dozen typos on this page. Thank you soooo much, mr. smarty-pants. We fixed them. Are you happy now? Is the universe a better palce for you now? God, some people are never happy.
12:20 we apologize for the foregoing outburst. We're nto normally beligerent drinkers, but it's been a long day, and we're barely halfway through it. Plus, we think that bottle of Ripple was past its sell-by date.
Outraged response sto this story can be e-mailed to Webmaster@muskratnews.com
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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