Sun May 30, 2004 02:40 PM ET
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A handgun that Saddam Hussein was clutching when U.S. forces captured him in a hole in Iraq last December is now kept by President Bush at the White House, a spokesman confirmed on Sunday.
Time magazine, which first disclosed the gun's location, said military officials had it mounted after it was seized from Saddam near his hometown of Tikrit last year, and soldiers involved in the capture gave it to Bush.
The magazine quoted a visitor who had been shown the gun, which is kept in a small study off the Oval Office where Bush displays memorabilia. It is the same room where former President Bill Clinton had some of his encounters with former intern Monica Lewinsky.
Bush shows Saddam's gun to select visitors, telling them it is unloaded, both now and when Saddam was captured, Time reported.
"He really liked showing it off," Time quoted a visitor as saying. "He was really proud of it."
College anthropology professors were reported to be delighted to have such a clear-cut example of fetishistic behavior to use as an example for their fall classes. "This is a classic - taking not just a trophy from your enemy, but one loaded with that kind of Freudian symbolism, well, that's just priceless. Usually when we explain of this kind of primitive thinking, we have to use examples from primitive tribes like the Bonobo or the Yanomani," said professor Egghair Hamilton, of the University of Death Valley. "And you always get some twit in the back row criticizing you for picking on helpless tribesmen. But here we have an example from a bona-fide white, anglo-saxon male. This is great. Notice how he emphasizes that gun was unloaded when Saddam was captured? He's clearly saying 'My opponent was impotent.' And to do it in the same space where Bill Clinton mis-used his own firearm… god, the psychiatrists must be falling all over themselves."
White House spokesman Scott McClellan strongly denied that there were any Freudian or anthropological significance to the use of the gun as a trophy. "Bush not need trophy. Bush strong man. Weak man not beat Al Gore. Weak man not give up fire-water. Bush strong. Bush bang-bang man. Saddam weak man. Saddam not bang-bang man. Saddam no bang-bang, no bullets. Bush have Saddam's gun in office, and have his ass in jail. Bush bang-bang big time."
The professor Egghair, however, disputed that ssessment. "Bush not so strong. Real bang-bang man make man baby to rule after him, like Bush's father did. Bush make only girl babies. Bush Like Henry the Eighth, but Supreme Court tougher to dump than Catholic Church, so no beheading for Laura. Bush just jealous, so he kill Uday and Qusay, but he still no make man baby."
Again, the White House was quick to deny such insinuations. "Bush not weak man. Bush Kill Saddam sons Uday, Qusay. Who strong now? Bush make many babies. Bush make man baby if he want, but Laura draw line at two. Bush strong man but Laura wear pants, if you get my drift."
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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