President Pledges to Destroy Abu Ghraib Prison, Outlines Plan for Iraq
By Dana Milbank
Washington Post Staff Writer
CARLISLE, Pa., May 24 -- President Bush Monday night called for demolishing Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison -- scene of Saddam Hussein's atrocities and the U.S. military's prisoner abuse -- as he pledged to implement a plan for relinquishing U.S. power in Iraq.
Bush's pledge to destroy the notorious prison was the symbolic highlight of a speech designed to convince an increasingly restive public that improvement was coming to Iraq despite a recent wave of violence and an international scandal sparked by images of U.S. troops abusing Iraqi prisoners. Worries about chaos in Iraq have jeopardized both public support for the occupation and Bush's reelection prospects, and Bush's speech was the start of a fresh administration effort to build public support.
"Under Saddam Hussein, prisons like Abu Ghraib were symbols of death and torture; that same prison became a symbol of disgraceful conduct by a few American troops who dishonored our country and disregarded our values," Bush said in a prime time speech to the nation. Seeking to defuse an issue that has badly undermined U.S. standing in Iraq and the Middle East, he vowed that after building a new prison and getting Iraqis' approval: "We will demolish the Abu Ghraib prison, as a fitting symbol of Iraq's new beginning."
Asked what would happen if the Iraqis deny permission to raze the facility, a White House spokesman said "we have ways of asking that are very… persuasive. Especially once we get the prison up and running, there won't be an Iraqi alive who'll dare to say no to us - or who'll survive for long if they do." Asked if that meant the new Iraqi government would be a puppet regime, the spokesman angrily denied it, saying "It could very well turn out to be some kind of marionette, or maybe a muppet, or that 'subservient chicken' guy from the internet. So ixnay on all the uppetpay alktay."
In what was seen as a pre-planned tie-in, the Fox broadcasting network announced that its new fall lineup would include "Extreme Makeover: Prison edition", in which one lucky set of third-world detainees would be selected each week to have their rat-filled detention center demolished and replaced with a spiffy new detention center made from space-age materials such as ripstop nylon sheeting, with low-key but charming decorative touches such as replacing torture cells with a torture gazebo. Fox was also rumored to be working on another reality TV show, this one about American policy in the Middle East. It was tentatively called "silk purse from a sow's ear," but it ran into production diffuclties.
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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