By Rene Sanchez
Washington Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, March 10, 2004; Page A01
FONTANA, Calif. -- It will be a race across nearly 200 miles of rugged terrain, featuring robotic vehicles in all shapes and sizes that have been built and programmed to drive a predetermined course through difficult and sometimes unexpected conditions entirely on their own.
No humans behind the wheel, no navigators using remote control.
"We're all trying to do what they say can't be done," said Scott Wilson, captain of a university team from southwest Louisiana that has named its entry CajunBot.
The winner of the race, if there is one, will collect a $1 million prize courtesy of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.
DARPA has long hoped to make the same transition from manned to unmanned vehicles on land as it has in the sky, with the advent of Predator, Global Hawk and numerous other unmanned drones providing reconnaissance, target acquisition, communications relay, and direct firepower on remote battlefields.
For obvious political reasons, DARPA has downplayed the "robotic death tank" aspect of the competition, leaving weapons out of the design spec for the initial race. The idea of American technology converting land warfare into a one-sided mechanical flesh harvest makes even some Pentagon planners queasy. But in the future, however, few doubt that the prospect of casualty-free wars will prove popular with the American public, however many casualties such a war produces on the other side.
Of course, as experience in Iraq has shown, future enemies may well choose to fight not against an invading army on the battlefield, but against an occupying army on the streets and highways of a subjugated nation. In that regard, DARPA points out, the need for an unmanned version of the Abrams main battle tank will be low. "What we'll need is something that can operate in a civil affairs mode-mixing with the civilian population, keeping the peace, identifying and eliminating criminals and guerrillas, while not interfering with the lives of ordinary citizens."
Asked if he had seen the movie Robocop, the DARPA spokesperson said "First, yes, just as we've all read Frankenstein. Give us some credit here, OK? We're aware of the pitfalls. These will be nothing like Robocops. Second, we've seen Westworld, and we're almost sure we have that bug worked out as well. There'll be no HAL-like machine madness in our program" Asked what media creation they would resemble, the spokesman mumbled something that sounded like "Daleks."
Asked how such killing machines could be designed to respect civil and constitutional rights, the spokes-bot replied "Any set of parameters can be accommodated. Simply move the selector switch from 'Exterminate' past 'Pacificy' and 'Ashcroft-ize' to 'Sissy Liberal' and you'll be fine." Asked if it were wise to have such important attributes determined by a toggle switch on the outside of the robot, where it could be jostled or moved by unintentional physical contact, the spokes-Dalek replied "Correct. It is best to weld it in place in the 'Exterminate' mode at the factory."
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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