The Associated Press
Feb 26, 2004 : 6:03 pm ET
WASHINGTON -- Richard Perle, a Pentagon adviser known for his hawkish views on Iraq, has resigned his membership on the Defense Policy Board, which counsels the secretary of defense on policy issues.
In his resignation letter to Defense Secretary Rumsfeld, Perle said he quit because he did not want his controversial views "to be attributed to you or the president at any time, and especially not during a presidential campaign."
"This is particularly true now since I have just published a book that calls for far-reaching reform of government departments responsible for combating terrorism," he wrote. "Many of the ideas in that book are controversial and I wish to be free to argue for them without those views or my arguments getting caught up in the campaign."
Observers were divided on what set of views that Perle holds could possibly be more controversial than, e.g., the invasion pf Iraq, the unconstitutional detention of suspects without access to lawyers, and thinly-veiled threats to invade Iran and Syria.
"Maybe it was, I don't know, something about orphans," said Rebus Planiform, of the Washington Center on Scary Men in Office. "Selling orphans for their parts? Shooting them? What on Earth is going to be worse than advocating an unnecessary war that produces hundreds of combat deaths and thousands of horrific injuries?"
Ming Pong Tunk, of the Center for Monosyllabically-named Pontificators, suggests Perle may be advocating "some kind of public castration of gays, or maybe having celebrities flogged on national TV. Americans are very attached to their celebrities, and if you were to, say, flog one like a plantation slave, they would probably be upset."
Hollywood gossip, however, suggest that Perle is afraid that the administration would be caught up in the controversy over his new film, "The Passion of the Halliburton." The graphic violence of the contract-auditing scenes in the film have drawn heavy criticism, with some critics saying Perle's fascination with physical violence distracts from Halliburton's message of universal price-gouging. Perle has said he wanted to dramatize Halliburton's "immense suffering" when they were forced to return $27.15 on a ten-million dollar contract, but his portrayal of congressional democrats as hook-nosed, cloven-hoofed beasts worries some.
Asked if he would be successful in disassociating his views from the President's when they will both presumably continue to spout untrammeled right-wing nonsense, Perle explained that his exit from government will allow him to use a range and intensity of profanity that is not available to government employees. "Other than that," said the man previously knows as the Dark Prince, "It'll be the same old cryptofascist crap."
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
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