01:33 PM Feb. 18, 2004 PT
The Bush administration has distorted scientific fact leading to policy decisions on the environment, health, biomedical research and nuclear weaponry, a group of about 60 scientists, including 20 Nobel laureates, said in a statement on Wednesday released by the Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS).
The scientists listed various policy issues as being unfairly influenced by the administration, including those concerning climate change, mercury emissions, reproductive health, lead poisoning in children, workplace safety and nuclear weapons.
For example, the panel that advises the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on lead poisoning was recently planning to strengthen the lead poisoning regulations, [but] Secretary of Health and Human Services Tommy Thompson rejected the recommendation and replaced two members of the panel with individuals tied to the lead industry.
A White House spokesperson said he wasn't familiar with the details of the panel changes, "but I'm pretty sure there were other reasons for making changes on the panel," he said. "I think there are reasonable explanations for nearly all the things in the report."
Asked for some such explanations, industry spokesman Laudunum Facelift suggested that "The health risks of lead have been grievously overstated by the anti-metal fanatics and left-wing copper-pipe advocates in Congress." He suggested that lead was a "vital dietary supplement" and that a modest daily dose improved people's complexions and made their hair thicker and more glossy.
A UCS source responded that such disinformation was exactly the kind of manipulation that the report warned of. "Lead in your food does not make you look better - it kills you. This is just like the time they put a nuclear power industry rep on the Nuclear Regulatory Commission panel, and the panel then came out and said plutonium makes your teeth whiter and gives your gums a healthy tingly feeling."
Nonetheless, the White House insisted that in the end the dispute came down to a 'he said/she said' controversy. "They say that acid rain kills trees and posions lakes. Well, our experts say it makes spring water bubbly and refreshing. They claim that the global warming is real, and caused by greenhouse gasses. We have our own people who say that it's nothing more than 3,488,205 unrelated thermometer misreadings and that the icecaps are receding due to a dangerously low level of Rogaine in Arctic waters. Who's to say which view is right?"
Asked what the White House would do if, for example, global warming turned out not just to be real, but to be so severe that rising sea levels inundate Florida and force the evacuationj of New Orleans, the White Hosue said "Easy. We blame the CIA."
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
Home Previous Lines of the Day
Usually that line is a come-on for "donations" via Paypal. Well, we know you're broke, and we'd just spend the money on sniffing glue anyway, so forget money. Send us feedback. Like this story? Hate it? Think we're the lamest site since microsoft.com?
No, we won't do anything with your return address execpt, maybe, send you a thank-you note.
