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| Science Trumps Ritual in Mystery Skeleton Row Thu 5 February, 2004 01:42 By Adam Tanner SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Denying a request by American Indian tribes who sought an immediate burial, a U.S. appeals court ruled on Wednesday that scientists should be allowed to continue testing on a 9,000-year-old skeleton. Scientists dated the "Kennewick Man" remains as 8,340 to 9,200 years old, yet it was a puzzling find because its features differed from those of American Indians. Scientists hoped further study would shed light on early North Americans. The battle was especially emotional because of the mystery the "Kennewick Man" represented. Aged 45 or 50 when he died, he had a projectile point unlike those seen in the region in his hip dating back to when he was 15 or 20 years old. Indian tribes demanded the burial of the remains, which they believe belong to a distant relative, but the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals denied that request, backing a lower court ruling. Among other differences from other remains of the period, the skeleton in question is unusually tall and well-formed, indicating that he had access to adequate, even ample nutrition during his developmental years as well as adulthood, a rarity in early-post ice age human archeology. The skull also has a full set of teeth. That in itself is not rare, as pre-industrial humans did not have refined sugars to rot their teeth. However, in this case, several of the teeth appear to have some kind of superhard ceramic coatings. Scientists are eager to continue their studies, especially into the question of why the skeleton was wearing an improvised loincloth made of a titanium micro-fiber mesh previously unknown to science, and the exact purpose of the device found embedded in the skull's mastoid bone. "It's an odd little bugger," said Twyla Thwap, of Sandia National Labs. "It appears to combine some kind of plutonium power source and a varying-phase chronometric oscillator. You usually don't see those outside of the top-secret UN Time Labs… if there were such places … which there aren't." In a related move, the court denied an Indian request to seal off the area around the skeleton's discovery site, including a nearby rock outcrop with the words "Dr. Xandor has stolen my return keycode/he will depart from Sandia March 3, 2004/stop him at all costs" carved into it. "These inscriptions are meaningless," said an Indian spokesman, "Just like the one downriver that says "been here 20 years…. Sick to death of berries… would kill for a yoo-hoo." Sandia Labs reports no Dr. Xandor on their staff, although there is a recent janitorial hire named "Bob Xandor" who is reported to be fond of lurking near the spare uniform supply closet and unusually good at making duplicate keys with his powerful yet nimble titanium-alloy claw hands. Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product. The rest is the fakey part. Home Previous Lines of the Day |
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