Usually that line is a come-on for "donations" via Paypal. Well, we know you're broke, and we'd just spend the money on sniffing glue anyway, so forget money. Send us feedback. Like this story? Hate it? Think we're the lamest site since microsoft.com?
No, we won't do anything with your return address execpt, maybe, send you a thank-you note.
Wed January 7, 2004 06:17 PM ET
(Page 1 of 2)
By Sue Pleming
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Pentagon auditors said on Wednesday they expected soon to receive documents from the Army that Halliburton paid fair prices for fuel brought into Iraq, squashing price-gouging allegations against Vice President Dick Cheney's former company.
The Defense Contract Audit Agency said Army Corps of Engineers officials overseeing the oil contract had promised a "business case" that showed prices billed by Halliburton unit Kellogg Brown and Root for fuel delivered by a subcontractor were "fair and reasonable" and the issue would then be closed.
The documents, bearing Halliburton's crest, reportedly exonerate the company of all wrongdoing: "Not only did Halliburton not charge excessive fees for gasoline supplies in Iraq during 2003, it may in fact have substantially undercharged the Army, considering the unique logistical challenges of operating in a post-conflict environment in Iraq." The challenges cited include "a large number of widows escorted across the street, literally hundreds of kittens rescued from trees, and two babies rescued from wells."
Asked how Halliburton could be trusted to audit its own activities, an Army spokesman said "Of course, that was our first concern. In order to allay any possible concerns about conflicts of interest, we got an opinion from the Army General Counsel's Office. The memo was written by an Army Reservist whose day job is in Halliburton's Corporation Counsel's office, making him uniquely positioned to assess this situation."
As reporters began to ask the next question, the press spokesman raised his hand to stop them "It's Halliburton all the day down," he said.
Special Bonus LOTD: Beagle 2 Lander Still Not Responding to Commands
"In retrospect," said a European Space Agency Official, "It was probably a mistake to land the Frisky Squirrel 2, Stinky Dead Raccoon 2 and Fire Hydrant 2 landers first…."
Remember, Kids, the part in bold is actual 100% news-flavored media product.
The rest is the fakey part.
Home Previous Lines of the Day
